Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Randomize
