he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
ok first of all what the fuck
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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