just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
