his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I looked at my own cervix.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
