I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
