I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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