Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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