so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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