i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
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