DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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