she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Randomize
