in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
operation have a gay friend backfired
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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