just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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