So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
