Yo dont text me then not text me
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize