Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
