Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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