Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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