Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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