Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
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