franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
