I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
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