Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(858): View more from California

I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.

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(804): View more from Virginia

She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch

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(703): View more from Virginia

There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.

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(217): View more from Illinois

Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.

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(646): View more from New York

He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.

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