Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
