You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
