im drinking this country out of the recession.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
