dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
