I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
He did a backflip because drugs
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
