May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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