Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
