I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
