Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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