just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
