Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
