whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize