so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
