id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
