Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
