I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
