I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
