Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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