I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
