Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize