upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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