Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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