The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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