Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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