My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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