One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
