She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Dicks are not precious.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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