I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
