we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
