I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize