I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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