at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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