he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
