yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
