she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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