Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize