Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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