Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
