fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize