She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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