do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
