i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
