I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
