i think my mom watched the whole time
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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