i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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