I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
