i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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