i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
This is classic penis vs brain.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
