I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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