Dual....:-)
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
